The Freebie of Child-Free. The Inner Tales of an Unfruitful Womb!

Why You're Miserable and She's Not! 

A simple truthful blog-post about the inner ramblings of a depressed women, who doesn't have children and really wants them-- YEAH RIGHT! Engage and tune in, whilst reading this insightful, mini-blog about a lady in her 30's, happy still, with an unfruitful womb.

At one point in time I thought I was a rare breed. Quite frankly so did my mother. I think she still does.

As a married, childfree woman in my 30s I’m constantly reminded that I’ve chosen an “alternative” or “unconventional” lifestyle. And before we go any further, let me just state for the record that I hate when people say that. I don’t live in yurt on the side of mountain, shunning modern technology and foraging my own food. I’ve simply chosen not to have children. I know, I know. Insert gasp here.

While we’re on the topic of things I detest as they relate my childfree status, I hate when people tell me I’ll change my mind. There are so many things wrong with that statement I just don’t know where to begin. Why does someone get to tell me how I will feel? To add insult to injury, they always say it with a knowing smile, as if I’m just deluding myself into thinking I’ll remain childfree and they can’t wait to say they told me so once I pop out a tot or two of my own.

I can tell you what I feel today. Today I feel fulfilled. While others may find that in having children, I’ve found that in my husband, my family, my friends, and my work –both of the gainful employment variety as well as volunteering. Having someone suggest they know how I will feel is insulting. As I have said many times, I have given more thought to not having children than most people do who have them. I assure you –I didn’t wake up one morning and hit the snooze button on my biological clock. I’ve spent years hearing that not-so-gentle alarm (that sounds suspiciously like my mother) and willing myself want kids; after all, time was running out.

And one day I realized I can’t make myself want something. I can’t make a square peg fit into a round hole. 

My life wasn’t missing anything … and kids are not an impulse a buy.

Before you ask, no, I don’t hate children. I’m not barren, I don’t have some horrible hereditary disease, and I don’t harbor a secret dream to own a cat sanctuary (okay, well maybe that last one is slight fib.) My husband and I decided some time ago that having kids wasn’t something that we needed out of our life. And if you don’t want children with your whole heart, why would why do that to them? Why would you do that to yourself?

My mother will occasionally tell me how pretty our little girl would be; curly red ringlets with eyelashes for miles. How my son could be named after my father and have my husband’s even temperament (because that would undoubtedly be better that mine, which is best described a bottle rocket.) Of course when that doesn’t work she’ll tell me I’m being selfish –how she waited her whole adult life to be grandmother and I’m depriving her of what all her friends have. Yeah, I still can’t work out how this makes me selfish either. Of all the things I expected to be called when we made the decision to be childfree, selfish wasn’t one of them.

Isn’t selfishness fundamentally about being unconcerned with the consequences of your actions?

 If living a lifestyle where my husband and I can comfortably take care of ourselves –where we can live in our own home, drive nice vehicles, enjoy vacations, and still save and plan for the future –then yes, you bet. Damn straight we’re selfish. While we may not share the same responsibilities as parents, we still have them. Just because we can go out to dinner on a Saturday night and not worry about finding a babysitter or fret that we’re spending little Johnny’s lunch money, doesn’t make us selfish. It makes us honest about who we are and what we want.

I would have never guessed that in 2017, with all the other things going on in the world –things of far greater importance than whether or not a woman has decided to procreate –would be such a hot topic or generate so much negative commentary. But the expectation persists. The judgements and assumptions are nothing short of an onslaught. 

Why everyone from my great aunt Beverly to people I meet at parties are so concerned about the empty state of my uterus, is beyond me. Why do people care? Why are they so invested in my parental status?

Perhaps you think I’m being dramatic, but think about it. When was the last time you heard someone say they don’t plan to have children and the conversation ends there? I’m going out on a limb and say never. 

You’re practically parading an injured lamb in front of a hungry lion. People will pounce at the opportunity tell you how you’ll change your mind or pepper you with questions, like, who will take care of your when you’re old; or inform you that you can’t possible know what true love is until you have children. When that gets tiring, they’ll assume you have tons of time, millions of expendable dollars, and sleep in every weekend. Every time you take a trip or buy something for yourself, you’re labelled as self-absorbed or materialistic. Basically, it’s a no-win situation.

But so what? What if all that is true? Does that make me any more prepared to care for a child now? Nope. Not even a little.

Almost all of my friends have kids. Of those that don’t, they’re either currently expecting a delivery from the stork or are trying desperately to flag that winged sucker down; and I’m the only person in my immediate circle of co-workers that’s child-free. So perhaps yes, I am in fact rare breed. Not necessarily unconventional, but maybe a little nontraditional. And that’s okay. 

I’m not looking to change the world. I’m just encouraging the child-bearing world to take a little breath … and get the hell out of my uterus.

Bio: Hello from the Pine Tree State of Maine, USA. I'm your average married, thirty-something woman fighting every inclination to become a stereotypical crazy cat lady. I've been navigating the childfree landscape for a few years now (much to my mother's dismay) and recently started offering my thoughts and insights on my Twitter page. -- @unfruitfulwomb. Follow me there!

So, there we have it . . . The Truth!


@ThatsCorey
thatscorey@blogspot.co.uk

Why You Chose SyncBox

Dear Readers,


A little while ago I had a friend stand in their personal power and went on DragonsDen. They were advertising a product called Syncbox. It's the first universally adaptable, recessed and covered advanced wiring solution for TV, Media and Speaker System installations.

I want for you, my readers, to grab this golden opportunity which is hot and ready for you. Remember my persuasion blog? Well, you thought that was good. This website, is crammed packed with a full tasty chocolate cake for you to look at, smell, munch on and digest; leaving you, only wanting more.

It'll explain everything for your future installations, it's going global, it's going big.

http://www.sync-box.com/what-is-syncbox/

Take a look today and stand in your personal power.




@thatscorey

Welcome to the future, welcome to syncbox. http://www.sync-box.com/

Twitter: @_syncbox

Save Our Early Years? We NEED an Education Revolution!

It's The End of Tick-Box Bureaucracy! 

You're a parent, with one of the most future talented astronauts, doctors or police officers in your house hold and all you request is an easy, peaceful and good transition for your child as they swiftly move into a Preschool. Yet, you notice a stumbling block... You notice that, yes that's right, your child may never actually manifest beyond the point of tick-box bureaucracy and a text book approach to educational process. This is because the very key person that is out there, who can assist your child in designing that life, is prevented from even wanting to do an Early Years Diploma let alone being hired by the Preschool itself.

Why is this? Is this because of all of Ofsteds regulations? No, actually, Ofsted do a beautiful job of piecing together the appropriate policies and practices for your child's, not only safety but emotional and educational development for the years to come. However, The Department for Education in the United Kingdom, as well as any governing body that supports them, have made not only a completely interesting logical fallacy but undermining tick-box approach to who settings can hire in the work place. If you are currently (and well done if you are) going through the notion of a Level 3 Diploma for The Early Years work force, quite rightly, you can do so. The problem that occurs, however, is once you've passed your course, you then hit the most baffling, most illogical and actually quite upsetting stumbling block of not being counted in ratio, if you do not have your GCSE Math or GCSE English.

Now, well done to those who do have those 'almighty and most superior' qualifications but isn't this really just the tick-box mentality? Do practitioners really need GCSE Math and GCSE English to be a well-mannered, hard-working, always studying practitioner of Early Years in a Preschool Setting or beyond? 

The highlight here, is of course, good literacy skills, good communication skills and good mathematical skills are needed so that a practitioner can teach the children in relation to the Early Years Foundation Stages Framework. In which, nobody of course would ever, with even one ounce of their soul, dispute. The problem occurs when you have a multi-talented practitioner, who has a vast ocean of ideas, complimenting their skills with different talents such as Neuro-linguistic programming or Non-violent communication; not to mention their hours of Tedx Talks on YouTube SO THAT THEY can not only compliment the Early Years structure but to communicate more effectively, introduce appropriate British Values and Equality in such a way that is fun, engaging and challenging; to only be ever so 'humbly welcomed' by this earth-shattering and rather doomed to succeed policy of "you must have your GCSE Math and GCSE English" (of course you can imagine somebody saying that in a Micky Mouse voice, can you not?) which only applies to a certain age group of practitioners (talk about equality). 

Are parents required to have their GCSE Math and GCSE English to have children? 

Are all practitioners going to be forced by regulation after regulation to ensure that they can teach three year old's the interesting sparkling cocktail of linguistics such as lexical ambiguities or the rather lovely mathematical ideology of computation?

And do all Ofsted inspectors and tick-box government MP's have their GCSE Math and GCSE English, along with years of experience in settings and schools? 

Let's welcome an education revolution. Perhaps, lets even model Finland's education system, which if you look at the statistics recently is going up and up and actually competing in the charts with many global countries which had seriously high success (and they're doing so approaching some interesting holistic ideas). 

We must start looking at ways that actually work, not at ways that make nobody even feel good on paper. There is, in no debate a realistic argument for having this red-tape, alarming restriction on Early Years practitioners. This type of thinking is illogical fallacy and somebody needs to call them out on it. 

Wouldn't it be interesting to promote equality and creativity and individualism to Preschool Children (which is written into the very positive frame-work of the EYFS and rights all across the Western World for children) YET their very own teachers and key people have to follow the opposite approach as a presupposition? Isn't that the highest form of paradoxical irony (talk about ambiguity)?

This is where #SaveOurEarlyYears come in (yes, the hashtag is there on purpose, follow them on Twitter @SaveOurEarlyYrs and follow their campaign at #SaveOurEarlyYears).

This campaign is not alone, this campaign is supported all across The United Kingdom by apprenticeship companies, parents and preschools who collectively want their voices heard around this specific issue. They say this, yes our children need to learn life skills and yes they need to learn good literacy and good mathematics but no that doesn't mean we want our children's liberty, our children's individualism and our children's life threatened and dictated by tick-box bureaucracy. A three year old isn't going to learn about algebra, a three year old is going to learn reciting numbers from 0-10; so shouldn't the focus be on TEACHING Early Years Practitioners 1. good communication skills 2. EYFS related functional skills and 3. how to promote individualism.

This campaign is about repealing and replacing the regulation of GCSE requirements for Early Years Practitioners. It is about promoting the Early Years Foundation Stage and how to communicate that creatively and effectively. The real question here is this, are the government going head-to-head with many authors, many psychologists and many Early Years Practitioners who know their job well, who have done their job for many many years with so much neuro-scientific evidence and psychological theory; to tell them, they are wrong and that they need GCSE requirements to do their job?  

The message is clear, ordinary decent practitioners have been let down by the tick-box bureaucrats and they are right to stand up in their integrity and challenge this requirement. The interesting aspect to this story however is this; that actually, the British Government, Ofsted and The Department for Education are on our side in this battle. They may have made a simple policy error but the error perhaps, if we look deeply into the emotional need area of this, came from a positive loving place.

For many years Preschools are associated with this "Nanny" ideology and that the children go to play. And that of course is a fundamental and solid aspect to their brain development and development as a whole; but it was, let's perhaps suggest, undermined? The challenge was, how can the government and governing bodies support education in a way that promotes the practices in which work but still promote staff pay, promote what they do as a hard-working British Value and do this in a way, which is equal and official like other job roles?

There is no doubt in many peoples minds that this was the correct compassionate response, but it was when looked upon realistically, not the correct policy to promote. You can promote equality of work, you can promote policies and legislation without undermining people in that way, without forcing people out of jobs or even preventing them from one. -- And there are so much better, more innovative and fundamentally correct ways to ensure the children have the right start in The United Kingdom and beyond, than just ensuring practitioners are counted into ratio by their GCSE  Mathematics and GCSE English. 

It's time for change and the simple angelic question is this... How can The Department for Education along with all the appropriate governing bodies, ensure practitioners are secure in their job role and positively promoting Early Years for all parents whilst they invoke a real spirit of individualism and continue meeting the Early Years Foundation Stage for all children attending settings in The United Kingdom? This campaign believes, GCSE Requirements do not fulfil that question or that task and this needs to be repealed and replaced to save our jobs, save our individualism and SaveOurEarlyYears.

We urge this to manifest to ensure that the children of this Great Nation are apart of Liberty and Individualistic spirit because their very own teachers have their own Liberty and Individualistic approach. 

How To Make Your Communication More Powerful

Ending Cassandra-Complex 

Getting back to blogging, a lot of you have requested (since I got 40,000 views on my persuasion blog post) more about the general essence of communication. How right you are and how right you shall be, when you learn more effective communication.

It does depend on your personality, your thought process and overall your archetype. But, there is a fast but here, you can, no matter who you are, if you speak the same language as the person you're communicating too and are from the same culture, generally speaking, enhance your communication no matter how different you are or are as a person. 

Here are four techniques to enhancing your communication: 

1. Silence.

Being silent means you're observing, means you're listening. If all you do is focus on your breathing and focus on that as you listen to somebody, asking simple questions to extend the conversation forward; you'll find you project a presence of quiet confidence and power. This is key to any negotiation or any discussion at work or outside of work. Silence also enters the realm of the Libertarian NAP. Which is Non-aggressive principle. If you simply stay silent and calm whilst somebody is talking to you, no matter what it is they are talking about, even if they are oh so lovely ranting, you'll to everybody else, project this calm powerful persona.

2. Stand Tall.

You want to resemble an alpha-creature. Lift your chin up slightly, push your chest out slightly, open your legs a little more; stand tall, stand strong. This communicates unconsciously to the other person, that because you're exposing your vital areas and organs, you're okay with those areas being exposed... What does that mean? You're the alpha. 

On this topic, that is proven, but you can double-check me on this one and do your own neuro-scientific body language research. 

3. Know Who You Are.

This one is the most simple, yet not the easiest. If you actively create your own reality by creating what you think in terms of politics, religion/non religion, finance, etc; if you create your own conscious beliefs you will understand your position on ideas and discussions much more easily. 

This means you need to actually study specific fields, have a think about what you desire in politics, think about what you should be like. Then, you can clearly communicate your ideas. 

4. Practice Speaking.

You must stand in-front of the mirror and breathe; focusing on your voice and focusing on your words. Get clear with your speaking, speak middle-to-fast, speak clearly, speak properly. This helps massively. 

And you know what, have number five for the sugar on top.

5. Know When You're Wrong.

Don't always be right; in fact, you don't always want to be perceived as right. The moment you're an expert in something, you're perceived as an expert in all fields, unconsciously by other people. This is false logic and you shouldn't ride the wave of stupidity with this fake superiority. You must, if you want to enhance your communication; admit you're wrong, listen to people, all of the above; and then, allow them to notice your changes, as you learn and grow. 

There we have it, a short burst of energy for you before you start your day or before you go to sleep at night! 

Living-With Less: Why Your Life Sucks

It's time to de-clutter

Because of the blog post about minimalism, some people requested a little further explanation of that.


It was Christmas 2015 and the loans, credit card loans and borrowing of money shot up to a chilling and dark £1.5BN as a majority. A great Christmas was in order and exactly that -- only that. Parents running around, with their co-dependency debt mindsets, screaming out towards their children in such a telepathic erratic way; "please love me!", "love me now!", as they spend their hard earned cash on "valuables" and products, that the children wouldn't have even known about if parents didn't allow their children to watch floods and tsunamis of television, with adverts, daily.

This process of psychological and emotional madness, completely locked in alignment with the sadistic advertisement companies -- who's workers also spend their money on the products that EVEN they sell. This craze of madness from the narcissists and co-dependent's of society, only to go home to warp up presents among presents, in which their children and family's already have ENOUGH STUFF.

Cocktails and clinking, festivals of food and music so loud your ears fall off. And then it hits -- boom inside your mind -- and so shall it be. . . The Day After Christmas. Boxing Day! The Day that should be re-named to "I realised I spent all that fucking money". The day of emotional regret, emotional disease.

You check your credit balance. You check your bank balance. You check your finances at home. Your out-goings have been MORE than your INCOME. But, of course, that doesn't stop you -- you continue to go to work in your beautiful shoes, whilst purchasing starbucks daily, thinking of course without your single contribution to this economical matrix model, it shall fail (of course, false).

You go home to your shit-hole of a home, untidy, a mess; shoving a pizza in the oven, whilst around you is filled with misery of materialism, even the objects themselves are miserable to be with somebody like you.

A gorgeous spliffing-mxiture of  such a process is enough to make anybody go insane . . . The lack of relaxation, the complete focus of trying to make your children love you, the overspending and the overeating . . . What ever shall you do?

So, you think to yourself; "I'm going to tidy!" and poorly you do. You put toys in boxes, boxes in more boxes and boxes of the highest performance, of course, in the loft or the shed. Filling valuable spaces, only African children can dream of, with your utter crap over the years that has accumulated.

And the left suggestion shall be  . . . You can get rid of some stuff, can you not?

And this is why your life sucks ... Full of stress ... Full of stuff ... Full of false logic towards relationships ... Living simplistically means, the very eradication of stress; that is what your goal should be. And because of that goal, once seeded in the unconscious, will bring you to clear your house, clear your relationships and surely clear your stress.

What are you not, THATS happy? You're not stress-free! And definitely, not a minimalist.

Minimalism: Live Stress-Free

Why it's time for change

 The most simple variations of life, are the best variations of life. When you can dance when nobody is looking, when you can smile and exude that confidence like energy, to another person and especially when you can go home, kick back and relax after a hard day work, with a cool refreshing drink in your hand, so you can appreciate life in mind. 

We are animals after all and we all have an existence to live, one that can filter through many changes and one that can certainly bring us joy and happiness. But, we must stop for a second and breathe; breathing in and breathing out, relaxing our body, relaxing our mind . . . Can you feel that? Can you feel the sensation of breathe circling around you, as if you're quenching your thirst with some cool water after a hot day. Every breathe you take is the intake of food for your system and every exhale you take is projecting life out from within you, into the world. And that special sense of relaxation is what, many of us would consider, the very essence of Minimalism.

Minimalism invokes a special sense of awareness in somebody, allowing them to be conscious and to participate in their world in a way that isn't only comfortable, isn't only conscious but to realise the very essence of this entire matrix is simply that is it only that. A Matrix. A matrix of time, a matrix of money, a matrix of personalities; one where, if you look closely enough, if you analyse well you can and surely will come to the conclusion of life itself. And that is for your own identity to summon magically now, by itself. 

Some say that Minimalism is the ultimate sophistication, I would agree and extent it to, the ultimate sophistication of relaxation. It is more than living simplistically, it is more than getting rid of that old shirt you no longer use, it is more than clearing your house out and cleaning it until it is spotless; it is the complete conscious construction of the expansion of relaxation. It is you at your naturalistic spiritual self. The complete energetic frequency that you are; the complete conscious tuned in tact and turned on radio-functioning processor which sends signals and rockets of desire to the universe, to collide with the other intentions in this Matrix. 

And you do that through awareness, through focus, through relaxation... And by not only identifying yourself as a minimalist but by practising being one, you can expand yourself into a fully functioning entity of which you already are.

Are you stressed with your job? Are your friends causing you too much drama? Is your house crammed full with, let's be honest, the most useless utensils of diversity that you've ever seen? And yet, you continue . . . You continue to suffer, day in day out with the same job, with the same relationships around you and with the same complete diversity of mess in your living hell-hole. And that is what it is, until you make a change. 

You can step back, look at your life through the visualisation techniques that are spread all across the internet. Here, let's do one now. I call this the, "Sort Yourself The Fuck Out", magical visualisation technique.

1. Step 1 - Breathe in, breathe out; and allow your breathing to become poetic and regular.

Sit down, focus on your body, breathe. 

2. Step 2 - The Now. 

Focus on the room around you, imagine a white ball of energy exuding itself and reaching out, touching the room around you and become present. And continue to breathe and once you've done so, close your eyes and focus on your feet, imagining some energy come up.

3. Step 3 - Well, now your eyes are closed, you can't continue to read, right?

All I want you to do, is relax. 

And then, once your eyes are open, think about your life, think about what you can improve and then begin to write down how to get there.

Simple? 

That's a little activity to bring you back into the now, so you can, you know, make a change.

How can I start?

As you read this and realise that minimalism can be easy, can be fun, can be pragmatic; you can go ahead and start dividing your time properly. Get organised! And as you do so, searching through your home, your car and through every inch of your bedroom (the one place we all hate to start), begin to throw away EVERYTHING you have not used in the last 2 weeks. Yes, that's right.

And unless your house looks like something out of "How Clean Is Your House" after it's finalised, then you should be throwing away a lot of useless 'diversity utensils'. Minimalism is an art form, it's a sophistication, it's a constant cycle of simplification, the complete expansion of relaxation. The very notion goes, that more is activating your stress-glands and that's the reason why you're stressed. 

For now, focus on 1. Clearing your home 2. Clearing your friendships and 3. Relaxing. Tidy up! Tidy up your act! And relax! Perhaps you can set yourself a 30-day challenge of Simplification.

And I wonder how deep the rabbit hole, for you, can go... Kaizen! 

Limiting Beliefs: The Seven of Society

Social Construct 

From day to day, our lives are constantly bombarded with a cocktail, bubbling of sophisticated stress. Trapped, we are, in our very social construct. We find, from time to time ourselves wondering, what is the purpose in all this? 

We wake up. We have breakfast. We brush our teeth's and get ready for work. We go to work and we work hard. We come home from work and spend small time with our families and eat dinner, before we get ready for bed again. That is the majority of lives in society; and of course, it's simply an advanced version of cave-men survival. Instead of hunting, we work and provide that way. This can be a man or a women; but that is how you provide now.

We're so deeply entrenched, entranced and manipulated by the booming social construct, by the dancing media that we forget that all we are is a spec of dust in this cosmic reality. If you were to zoom out, to continue to do so and take a picture of where we are, in this universe; in this galaxy, all you would see is a small spec of dust. That is where we are, that is all we are.

The Art of Society has us beautifully trapped within its structural matrix and down below are the seven areas of society that are programmed into us.

1. Go to school 

You are told by your parents, by everyone around you; to go to school, get good grades. 

2. Learn to drive 

You are programmed to learn how to access a transport system which can propel you towards the area of work in the future 

3. Get a university degree

You are conditioned, even by the universities themselves, debt after debt, to get a college/university degree and that is the only way you will be successful

4. Get a job 

And then, as you've done the first three stepping stones to society; you must proceed into a collection of stressful working hours, with people you don't like, to afford items you don't need, to impress people who don't like you

5. Get married

In which, traditionalism invokes itself into your mind, to promise the special relationship that Dogma, Religion and Disney all proposed to you in a fashionable way. Slavery... Cough... Marriage. 

In which of course, you're all conditioned to have failures of relationships, because of the television shows you watch and the low self esteem and communication models you access.

6. Have children 

Genetics over-rule you, along with the social expectation of "When are you going to have children?" ; "Oh, you don't want children? I'm sure you will" ; "Still, no children? Selfish". And you proceed, to have children, resenting it, yet loving it at the same time. The combination of complete expectancy, biological determinism and copping out of a fulfilling life, because of what "they" had told you. 

7. Get a promotion

Of course, if you didn't have children in the first place, the promotion would be more fulfilling because you'd actually get to keep the money. Yet, the way it is, you need a promotion to pay the debt off - or pay for more Gucci bags or Rolex watches for your partner or even, that new holiday for your family. 

Welcome to the world of Stress. You're conditioned and trapped in this never ending cycle of madness; yet when you look around at all the people who also follow this - they're unhappy, they have hopeless friendships/relationships, they're in debt and are their children really that special and good? 

Of course, more and more these days, people are choosing to have a simplified life; a child-free life; with different life style choices and that's also okay. This article isn't supposed to demonise the people who have been tricked and fooled into the life style of society, because there are some people who chose that and want that and the-most part enjoy it. For the people who feel under pressure to do everything, in the methodical way it is handed to them, know there is another way. 

But for now, enjoy the social construct . . . Well, try to.